* Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
* He who hesitates is probably right.
* Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
* No one is listening until you make a mistake.
* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
* The hardness of butter is proportional to the softness of bread.
* To succeed in politics, it is necessary to rise above your principles.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
* If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
* Attempt to get a new car for your spouse--it'll be a great trade!
* I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
* Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
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